Kill The Director
by Walden.Pond313
Summary: This is a story in which Agron finds out that you're never too old for a crush. And that it is definitely better to be "That random guy that asked me out" than to be "That random guy that always stares at me in class." We've all been there, it's not fun or attractive.
1. Seasick

**Hey People :]**

**This is a story for anyone that has ever had a hopeless crush. The title is taken from "Kill The Director" by The Wombats. Give it a listen :]**

**I'd like to dedicate this to the love of my like, a.k.a "That guy I'll never work up the courage to talk to."**

* * *

_I've Met Someone That Makes Me Feel Seasick..._

* * *

They'd warned him. Spartacus, Gannicus, even that self-righteous prick Crixus; they'd all warned him: knock out your required sequential science credits before it's too late. "It's tedious," they lamented. "It'll take time away from classes you actually need to worry about," they warned. Agron listened to his friends' well-meaning advice and let it gently drift over his head. He personally blamed it on the Vogt stubbornness. It had caused much unnecessary pain and suffering for his family. The shared trait is why, in an act of little sibling rebellion, his baby brother decided to enroll and is currently miserable at the "University of Capua" instead of attending "Capua State" with his successful older brother. And all because Agron had casually told Duro that he'd probably love state. The stubbornness of Vogts didn't end with the immediate family. Just last year his cousin, Saxa, started dating the douchiest of douchebags. Friends and family encourage her to end things before he screwed up, but she wouldn't listen. In the end Nemetes landed his ass in jail after trying to buy cocaine from an undercover cop. Stubbornness has plagued their family for generations and Agron cursed it as he, now a senior criminal justice major, walked into his geography lab…

"…"_Emergency. Please Exit The Building Immediately. Emergency. Please Exit The Building Immediately. Emerge…"_

"What the fuuu-" Agron looked around in order to find the source of the sound. The bright lights of the fire alarms flashed intermittently.

"Attention, everyone." The smooth voice of his lab instructor called out. Her honey blonde hair was in a short pony tail at her neck and her face was obscured by thick, black-framed glasses. In her hand, she held a sack of lab write ups from last week. "Just use the ramps to get out of the building. This honestly shouldn't take too long; somebody probably left a Bunsen burner on or something. I expect to see you all back here in, like, twenty minutes."

Perfect. It was only the second lab, but Agron felt done with the entire class. As he followed his classmates out of the building, he silently regretted all of his life choices. At least it wasn't raining outside.

The pair of sliding doors that served as an exit opened to the school's plaza. Not surprising at eleven am, with everyone either at class, the library, or home, the area was nearly empty. Agron claimed a stone bench and pulled out his iPod. Sitting alone listening to the Indian hip hop his roommate had him hooked on, Agron noticed some people in his class glomming on to each other and making conversation. Perhaps this was a sign he needed to actually make friends in his classes. There are always the people he sat next to, some dude named Jay and a girl with braids that didn't feel the need to introduce herself. The only time they'd spoken last class was to compare calculations on the total relief for contour intervals. Stimulating stuff.

'_I might as well do something productive.' _Agron thought to himself. Reaching to his right to grab his paperback copy of _'Salem's Lot _buried in his bag, he noticed he wasn't the only one with the idea to read. Sitting about 3 yards away was probably the most casually beautiful guy Agron had ever seen. His glossy black hair tumbled to his shoulders in waves, highlighted by the sun. His jawline hinted some stubble and his pink lips were curved downwards as he continued to read.

A significant amount of time must have passed with Agron creeping on cute guy, because said guy along with some of his classmates moved to re-enter the building.

"Fuck." Agron pulled his headphones out of his ears and shoved his iPod in his backpack. Clare Hall, the building in which several lab courses were held, was a converted parking garage i.e. it had ramps instead of stairs. This made Agron's jog to the third floor relatively easy. He made it back to his class just as his teacher opened the door. Agron resigned himself to being to being last in line to sign the attendance sheet. Whatever, it's not like you get extra credit for being first in line.

Arms above his head attempting to stretch out his 6'2", Agron's eyes were once again drawn to wavy black hair.

"_Holy Shit!"_

Cute guy was in his lab, meaning he has to be in the same geography class. So what? The lecture hall is filled with over 100 people every Monday and Wednesday. Cute guy could be sitting anywhere. No big deal.

* * *

No big deal. At least, that's what Agron tried to tell himself when he walked into the sterile looking lecture hall. As it was the first time Agron had arrived toclass early, he was surprised to see the room nearly empty. The last few classes he'd been forced to sit in random locations, due to availability. Not this time. He looked down the aisle and chose the seat near the wall. This was only the fourth class, so he didn't really consider what he was doing as "seat stealing."

As the class began filling up and the time moved closer to 1:30, Agron prepared himself for another class of covert Candy crush playing. He couldn't really blame his professor, a middle-aged brunette women with a reedy voice, for his lack of interest. He chose this class, for better or for worse.

The theme of his thoughts didn't change as a yellow legal pad that served as the "official" attendance sheet reached him. He gave his signature a little flourish and turned in his seat to hand it off to the next row. Pretty run of the mill.

Of course this is the first time the warm brown eyes of 'Cute Guy' greeted him.

Agron felt his heart clench then painfully plummet into his stomach. Damn it.

Crushes are the absolute worse.


	2. Phonebook

**Hey People! Sorry for the wait, this chapter turned out to be a bit more massive than i expected.**

**Forever pimping out my tumblr: .com**

**Feel free to leave a review!**

**Enjoy :]**

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_Stranger in My Phonebook_

* * *

"Wait, you cancelled lunch last week because you developed a crush." Saxa scoffed, looking thoroughly unimpressed. By some happy accident last year Agron, Saxa, and her roommate Mira, all had compatible free periods in their schedules. Over time, this morphed into a bi-weekly lunch ritual. This semester their lunch break happened to be conveniently in between Agron's geography lab and his class.

Mira, her hair pulled into a single French braid and her eyes sparkling, playfully punched him in the arm. "You told me you didn't feel well, jackass." Ahh, sweet Mira. "I was genuinely concerned."

"I really was sick. At least, something was wrong with me." Agron dropped his head onto the table in defeat, careful to avoid the remains of their sushi. As much as it pained him, when it came to Mira and Saxa, it was better to just come clean with everything. "Crushes are the work of Satan."

Saxa gleefully flicked sticky rice at him. "You're being ridiculous. If you're not planning to talk to this guy, move on. It's not like you're hard up for cock anyway."

"Should you be talking like that, Miss Education Major." His response earned him another volley of rice. "Anyway, this isn't a sex thing. I don't know what it is, I just want it to hurt less."

Mira leaned over, brushing some stray rice out of his hair. "Aww, look at you. Beneath that gruff exterior you're just a big ol' romantic."

He gently slapped her hand away while his cousin laughed at their interaction. Agron shuddered has sudden war flashbacks hit him, assaulting him with images of a five year old Saxa kicking sand in his face whilst maniacally laughing. "Alright, Saxa, just sit there and laugh at your big cousin's pain. We'll just ignore all the times I've gone to bat for you and patched you up after."

"Don't be so dramatic, you big baby. You're not the first person to ever have a crush. " Saxa chuckled. "Although I just don't see the point of pining after someone. Unless they're aromantic asexuals, you have at least a 25% chance that they'll go out with you." At the skeptical scoffs of her friends, Saxa decided to educate these fools. "Self-esteem or personality issues aside, dating is really just an epic game of heads or tails; the probability of either success or failure is 50 percent. For the sake of this conversation, let's say heads is 'yes' and tails is 'no'. With these guidelines in place all you have to do is ask two important questions: Do you have compatible sexual proclivities? Heads, flip again. Are they willing to go out with you? Heads again. The probability of you getting heads two times in a row may only be 25 out of 100, but that beats 0."

"Glad to see you applying Elementary Stats to everyday life."

There was nothing playful or sweet about the punch Saxa doled out to her cousin. "Whatever, you know I'm right. Besides, I still don't see why this is a problem. This guy doesn't even sound like your type."

"What type? I don't have a type."

"Really, Agron?" Mira outright laughed. At the green eyed man's genuinely clueless expression, she decided to elaborate. "Whether by accident or not, you tend to go for tall, kind of buff, athletic types."

"Basically copies of yourself." Saxa added helpfully. "It's a little sick, to be honest."

Agron tried to think back on the guys he'd been with. Despite Saxa's belief that he apparently was used to having a lot of sex, Agron wasn't a fan of casual hookups. The few guys he'd been with _may_ have been predominantly taller than average but that's where the similarities end. In Agron's mind, the only thing those guys had in common is that they wanted more than just a one night stand.

Growing impatient with her cousin, Saxa quickly cut into his wandering thoughts. "I can see you have your thinking face on. What, are you reevaluating your life? Are you going to tell us you're actually into cute, short guys with pretty hair?"

"No, it's not even that." A sad little smile crossed Agron's face. "Your logic might be sound for that dating probability game, but you can't just toss aside human emotions or experiences. Very few people in this world think they're perfect, most of us mere mortals have been ostracized for one reason or another. And you both know how I can be: introverted, possessive, impulsive…not the most attractive things to some people. They're not always flaws, they're just parts of my personality, but they've kept me out of any real romantic interaction for most of my life." A soft, self-deprecating laugh escaped from him, as Agron rubbed his eyes. "So, yeah. In my mind, the probability of a yes is a little less than 25%."

Mira laid her hand on his. "Agron, you've got to know that there's more to you than that. You're loyal, dependable, funny…" She turned to Saxa for help, but the blond looked caught up in her own thoughts.

"Mira, it's okay. I'm okay." Agron cut in. "Every kid hears that myth about true love but I never fully subscribed to that bullshit. I never wanted that to be my life-have my happiness directly connected to another person. Plus I had Duro and you, Saxa, to look after. But, much to the chagrin of my six year old self, I guess I'm start to understand that it could be kind of nice be with someone who always has your back; someone who, at the end of the day, will stand by your side and fight for you or with you. I'm not asking or looking for a soul mate, but I wouldn't mind sharing my life with someone I can trust my heart with and who trusts me in return…Dear God, I sound like Crixus."

The sound of Agron's bitter laugh snapped Saxa out of her reverie. "As Hallmark as that sounded, it wasn't completely ridiculous. And you sounded more like Opa."

"Gee, thanks. It's not like Opa was certifiable or anything…oh, wait a minute."

A genuine smile showed of Agron's adorable dimples and it left Mira questioning how a sweet guy like Agron could be single. It also didn't hurt that he was hot.

"Well, hopefully you're one step closer to finding your dream guy. Now, we're all going to be late if we don't head out of here. You both have classes to get to and, if I don't leave now, I'll have to say late to help out the Asian American Student Union which will then mean that I'll be late to Archery Club."

"This bitch and her fucking arrows." Saxa couldn't help grumbling.

"What?"

"Nothing." The blonde put her hair in greater disarray by running her hand through it. "Uh, I have MMA at the rec center tonight and I'm pretty sure it ends around the same time as Archery. Do you want to meet up and walk back to the dorm together?"

At Mira's assent, they walked off together, leaving Agron to clean up the complete mess on their table. He didn't mind, not really. As a freshman, being friends with people like Spartacus and Gannicus afforded him a security blanket of acquaintance, people that tolerated him solely because Spartacus vouched for him. But things change, they don't have anything better to do.

By his sophomore year, Spartacus had graduated, Gannicus moved off campus and stopped giving a fuck, and a lot of the "Good ol' boys" didn't have time for Agron's shit anymore. Thankfully that was the year Donar and Suraj had transferred from their Podunk colleges. They'd been roommates ever since. It was also the same year that his cousin had enrolled and ended up with Mira Chen as her roommate.

So, his social circle may have been dramatically downsized, but it didn't bother him. Better to be around a few people that really care for you than surrounded by a sea of people who could honestly give a shit about you and your issues.

These are the bittersweet thoughts that plagued Agron's mind as he took his seat in Geography, which is why he initially missed Cute Guy's entrance. A grave mistake, as the object of Agron's infatuation decided to up his level of attractiveness.

On this most fortuitous of Mondays, Cute Guy seemed to have decided to move up a row. He'd also decided to tie up his luxurious locks in a bun, not that Agron was complaining. The new hairstyle gave Agron a nice view of his crush's strong jawline and straight nose, features that would be thoroughly unremarkable on anyone else held Agron captivated when presented on this one person. His new field of vision also afforded his a glimpse of Cute Guy's gauges and a beautiful design of some type of script curving up his neck, neither of these things were unattractive in Agron's mind.

"T!" A feminine voice called out, interrupting Agron's unsubtle stare. To his surprise, Cute Guy…or "T" turned his head and Agron heard him speak for the first time.

"Hey, Chadara." 'T' said. "You never come to class this early, what's up?"

Agron was pretty sure he'd need a moment. _That_ was not the voice he'd been expecting. His voice was somehow on the edge of deep and light, of rasp and airy, and Agron was pretty sure there was a tiny member of the DFB (_Die deutsche Fußballnationalmannschaft_) kicking his heart because there was something wonderfully uncomfortable happening to his body.

"Class is cancelled!" The girl, Chadara, crowed. "I knew you would've missed the email, so I decided to swing by early to inform you."

"How very selfless of you." T said, flashing his friend a smile. He began to pack up his bag, while the rest of the class followed suit.

"Well, maybe I figured that you could give me a ride to the Arts Center, seeing as you're done with classes for the day."

"Don't you have a lecture after this one?"

"Poli Sci? I could do those exams in my sleep. Going to class would definitely be a waste of my time." The two friends walked of arm in arm. Watching them go, Agron was struck with by weary wave of déjà vu.

Chadara…why did that name sound so familiar?

* * *

The keys in his hand jangled as he struggled to open the door to his dorm. As expected, Donar and Suraj were seated at their dining room table, heads together, not giving a fuck about Agron.

"Hey, shitheads, the sound of me fighting with that lock wasn't your fucking imagination, it was actually happening." Agron grumbled in lieu of a greeting.

"Hello to you too, sunshine." Donar smiled. Suraj didn't bother partaking in their banter, he just lifted his chin in acknowledgement. He seemed to be finializing one of his numerous chem lab write ups, which would explain why neither of his roommates felt the need to lift a finger to aid him. Donar, who proudly claimed Chemistry as his major, basically taught Suraj the material for the first part of his course last semester.

"I'd love to stay and chit chat, but I can't be late to my class." He quickly stuffed his worksheet into his bag. Before leaving he set his hand on Donar's shoulder. "Thanks for helping me out. I'll take you to Vesuvius Diner late, buy you a slice of pie."

Donar gave him a little wink. "I'll hold you to it."

Watching the exchange, Agron waited for Suraj's speedy exit before commenting. "Oh, sure. There's nothing going on between you two. That sexual tension is all in my head."

"Says the man with the ridiculous crush."

"Fuck you." Agron growled, without any real heat. "Hey, do you know any girls named Chadara? She's short, blonde…regular looking?"

Donar looked up from his chem notes in disbelief. "You're joking, right?" He asked, but at Agron's scrunched face, he felt his eyes roll. "You cannot be this bad with faces. Gannicus' housewarming party in September, we played that coed game of football. Ringing any bells?"

"Oh yeah. Our team fucking dominated!" Agron's grin fell. "At least, we were until Mira punched some chick in the throat and was ejected from the game. Wait a minute…" Images from that night flashed into his mind. That blonde chick…why does she look so.. "Wait, that girl was Chadara?"

"Yes. What's your concern with her anyway?"

"I saw her talking to my guy. I knew she looked familiar, I was tempted to call up Gannicus and find out if she was one of his old flames."

"You're cousin being the exception, Gannicus doesn't really go for blondes. He moved in with that girl from last year, uh, Sybil or whatever." Now it was Donar's turn to pack his bag. "Anyway, I have to head out to my paying tutoring job. But just f.y.i. last I heard Rhaskos has a blonde girlfriend named Chardara. I'm pretty sure we're all Facebook friends. Later."

"Cheers." Agron at least had enough dignity to wait until after Donar walked out the door to pull up his FB app on his phone. Sure enough, there on his mutual friends list was Chadara Samuelsen. Not that it really helped. Her page was private and, as his profile picture included Mira in it, he doubted that she'd add him.

"Fuck me."

* * *

Mira rubbed her palms together in attempt to chase off the chill of the night air. Archery club let out nearly ten minutes ago, but she'd decided to stick around and wait for Saxa. Speaking of, Mira felt a grin stretching her cold cheeks as her blonde roommate exited the rec center.

"Hey, how was practice?"

In her enthusiasm, Saxa couldn't help but swing her arm around the other women. "Invigorating." She moaned. "I love practicing here, the atmosphere is so amazing. There's just so much respect when you hit the mat. God, I just so…y'know?" Her arm dropped as they began the five minute trek towards their dorm. Unwilling to drop the contact, Mira hooked their elbows together.

"Yeah, I get it." She gave her friend a playful poke on her cheek. "You're practically glowing."

Saxa couldn't help but puff her chest out. "That's probably because I pinned Gannicus a few times. I just love the feeling of completely dominating someone, having them at my mercy." The blonde grinned wickedly.

Mira gave her a quick pinch, reveling in the little growl her friend let out. "You are controlled by your hind mind or Libra tendencies, I swear. Your instincts are either fuck or fight."

"You're wrong on both accounts. First: you can thank my Vogt ancestors. They bred a natural savagery into our German blood." They reached their door with Saxa volunteering to wrestle with the lock. "Fuck…this…cheap…ass…school!" She grunted as she felt the door give. They entered through their dining room, immediately setting their gear on the table. "Anyway, you're wrong on the second account too. Mixed martial arts isn't about fucking or fighting for me. No, on the mat it's all about power. Sex is a different story."

"Oh, god," Mira felt her head plunk on the door frame as she leaned against it. "I'm probably going to regret asking this, but how exactly is it different?"

"Spoken like one plagued with a vanilla sex life. For me anyway, sex is never a power play." She advanced slowly on her roommate." "It's a little like what Agron was saying earlier about trusting his heart and happiness to another person. True intimacy is very similar, only I'm not giving you a metaphorical piece of my heart. I am literally giving you my body and trusting you to give me pleasure as I do the same with you. And if you really know me, that means trusting you to fist my hair so that you can hold me as close as possible. Or let you nibble on my ear or really sink your teeth into my shoulder. I could never share an experience like that with someone that doesn't respect me or my boundaries. I may sleep around, but I would never degrade myself by sleeping with some asshole that cares more about their own pleasure. You should never give someone that much control over you without having some level of mutual respect between the two of you." By the end of her little speech, the two women found themselves nearly touching, almost sharing the same breath.

"Why…why are you telling me all of this?" Mira whispered, not wanting to break whatever spell Saxa's words cast over them.

But such thing never last and Saxa eased her body away from her roommate's. "I know you look out for me and worry about me, and I get it. I may be impulsive, but I promise I'm not reckless." Saxa lifted her left hand and gently touched her roommate's still intact braid. "Just know that I worry about you too. I worry that you're going to put too much faith in some jerk guy and he'll break your heart."

Mira tried to contain a shiver as she felt a hand ghost over her neck. "You don't have to worry about that. I'm way too busy to fall in love."

Saxa took her chin in hand and stared deeply into hazel eyes. "Well, if it happens, you come to me first. Promise?"

Again, the brunette found her voice barely above a whisper as she stared back into ice blue eyes. "I promise."

Saxa leaned in, giving her friend a soft kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight, Miss Chen. Pleasant dreams." She walked away with a small smirk on her face, leaving her roommate to stare at an empty hallway.


End file.
